i hear the song on the radio and it brings back waves of you
whatever mood im in is lifted and desperses to places unknown and a
smile forms as my mind wonders in the fields of you

i have little of a life and i know it but dotn change it
i need too
mybe next weekend, i keep saying.
i need to get a move on
before it all passes me by

im starting to learn.

i will not write these words for you
ya i said i would but ill do it in due time
dont rush this or
else
im jsut stringign together words and makign soemthings up,
my tru thoughts come out when im goign fast and mispelling things.

so i banish the law
im done, it weird
how u lied to me, you know u did and yet u led me on bc you knew what i would say. i judge only purely but i found a girl before you and her writing are pure and she
doesnt know about them
oh how onw day i hope to read em all to her, or have her read them. might be too scared of what she would say
i do go with the flow and whatever happens happens.
but
if you want somethign then you go for it.
im not going to lsoe you, im gonna be there. i jsut dont know how to vocalize this to you
i dotn want to lose you,
i want to give us a chance bc i knwo it will be something great but time is against us. how do i respect you yet declare what i want.
well at the end ill be there for you
holding a rose, only one and jsut for you. ive written some lines that make you think, and i knwo youll know when you read the, how i feel but currently im still failing the opposite sex. idk anything.

but back to you
you are a friend but your flaws are too visible

you should see that special persons flaws as character and what makes them them.

long time

wow, its been a while since i wrote anything, months passing and events spinning out of control.
true higher education is knocking at my door and ive let it in and now it lounges on my couch refusing to go until im done.
sometimes you have to fall down so you can learn to get up again.
its best to live live with scraped knees, some scratches cuts and bruises. to let the world knwo you cna handle the ring, that your still up and in the fight.
idk where to go with this post, school and how im trying but still not there yet. or should i go back to the secong gym leader, the water one and write about her.

rant rave and bitch, it cures the soul

She will be loved-Maroon 5

I never though it would come to this
the sounds of slamming doors
squeaking breaks
and sparks flying all while i burn rubber going round the track

there is barely a winner
because i drive and go the distance but always seem to mess it up
my though process is like going round in Circe's and getting no where fast, no matter how much pressure i put on the accelerator
Now your gone-Basshunter

i faintly get the world but i dont have to love it
it and the humans greed, when they say education is everything, so that's why a school costs over 30k, ya it makes sense if you don't think about it

i despise hearing about how baked people were last night, how baked there going to get, the California flag should be changed, but hey, that's me
is it like this everywhere?

maybe but prob not this bad, we just love our pot too much

the weather is the only thing California has going for it

a 20min drive should never take 45 mins, Ive put more miles on my car and really, i have gone NO WHERE

and ya i get it all the time, its my fault
i can do something about it
but in the retrospect, no i cant.
its not that easy
so please stop with the cliche remarks

everything i want has a dollar sign on it and I'm not materialistic

VDAY

its been so long since Valentine's actually meant something to me
prob in 2006 was the last time i actually had a girl i could call mine on this so call special day just for lovers

but are we not all lovers, in some way

so for the past 5 years feb 14 only means one thing to me, its my uncles birthday
but besides that it is just another day in this short month

im not a cynic, not in any way
im a hopless romantic in fact
yes it is hard to beleive. but its true.
im all for love i just never get the chance to prove it, lack on confidence and a misunderstood stutter can do that to ya but ive learned to be alone, im so use to it it should be criminal
no one should know this feeling of loneliness but i do and it hurts but doesnt sting as much anymore
its an age old wound, though it may never close the pain numbs itself

this feb 14 2011
i will be taking a test, studying for another one and doing 3 sections of math, a journal and interviewing the cheif of police at my campus for the paper and thats it
maybe oh maybe will i be able to escape to a tattoo parlor downtown
in search of an artist who can draw my broken cage and fill it wiht emptyness and sprinkle it with words
thats the one thing that i might be able to do but i doubt it, witht the work piling up and my mentality im crossing the threshold to insanity, and the feeling that i am actually busy.
to raise your bubbly glasses and cheers to the ones who found love and chin up to all thsoe who didnt or choose not too, there is next year, now drink.

smells like cake

when i breath her in, she smells of cupcakes and cookies,
but this story is not about her, its about me and the journey that i have to take.
the one whee she makes me realize something about the status quo and how its horrible wrong, how i should throw up arms and dont settle for less
how i am ok with it but morally i know better
she is my cause for revolution
shes my spark and my rebellion waiting
waiting in me like a gun on the clock waiting to fire that explosive round

dont fall

i hide behind these rims
but i aint playing hide n go seek
this is not a game this is real life

so go start the clock, the hour glass with x years
evermore spitting sand down its tunnel, dont wait before its too late
react, and live

this is who i am,
i am not perfect
i fail to have perfect vision so this is who i am
so life with ur imperfections and declare who you are

don't put up with people who criticize you,
there just insecure about there self made images
they are the flawed one, for they be cracked down the middle of their soul

they are the broken, we are the movement behind the nation

Ive hid behind plastic far too long, i have been caged but no more
the streets will run black
black from the ink of the lies being sold and destroyed
every time you let a lie stand a good person falls
so hurry up ad stand up before all the pieces fall down and then there is nothing left worth fighting for

when society says run, you yell no and stand the ground
its not the popular move but it is the necessary one

when the nation stands on stilts you realize there is something lacking
so move your strongest piece, the pawn

long time

is life a game or a challenge
or the peak of the mountain
its all of the above and a chance to be free and ahve fun

fuck it, its only moeny
give way to chances and let the die fall on the streets or the apartments in New York
spin the bottle and kiss the queen or the geek
to each his own, pick your poison, the geek maybe your queen

swallow your first sin of pride adn act within your own impulsive nature, never stay captured, run like the gazelle

its only a game, a game where you only have one life so act with no means, live like moeny is nothing more than dirt, breath deeply and be statisfied.

live on the edge and jump

hes just a brooklyn boy in a san diego winter remix

you can lead a horse to water but you cant make it drink

tis the same with man in certain cases
you can lead a man to the brink but he must be the one to jump, make that step unless hes possesed/

its like im in my body but i have no control
im losing all feeling
i dont know where im going just going through the motions,
im on the brink but i cant take the final step, i wont bc its not in me, ok maybe it is but thats not the point.

i miss him, i really do. i though we were co dependent, never really crossing path but the nightly routine seemed to hoold up adn never break. 6 years is a long time to be apart, we, i am never really in his league. im always outside looking in, on my older brother.
the water hits the dam, about to spill over.

i started middle school, he was leaving highschool, i was almost to high school, he was gone, its like the gap was never made bc you cant have a gap between 2 being that never connected.

he never knew it but i always follwed him but failed everytime in comparison
drums
classes to photography, im on the edge but will i jump
has history already proven i cant trace his outline, cant follow his footsteps in the sand and snow

maybe it has, have i ever listened

he never knew but i take his advice differently then everyone elses, always have, will always.

Sandy Footprints

Unforgetable-Nat King Cole

Treads, not tire treads
but the treads we as humans leave behind us on the beach, our foot prints or shoe impressions
there is a mass or wealth of stories to be told from the ebach and thos impressions
whos going where, whered they come from, did they take the tiem to remove their shoes and go barefoot on the warm sadn?
i dont know, only the shoe can tell the tales

The times are a changin-Bob Dylan

why are some clearer than others?
is it weight related, or something else, liek the speed of the person
the way they were running, landing on the sand wiht a silent splat and the energy from them transfered to the sand itself

but i want to know who they are, where they have been adn where they are going
that poises a more interesting tale, a tale worth telling

are they rich or poor
a mild background or one that echeos the halls with violence

are they running to something, or from

i was there for a view, with a mild background wiht a war torn future, for the wolrd to witness. I meandered to my destination. Not tosay i wasnt in a hurry but i am pacing myself.

Hallejulah-Leonard Cohens

I hate to dissapoint my parents but its time i see what i can do, what im made of
its long past due, i need to fly or fall, i hope i can fly because i dont ahve wings yet

wheres my freedom
wheres my future, wheres the key
i want to know and i want to gamble it all on what i knew and know
i want it to be as sturdy as the Roman Pillars, standing strong

Can i make it, will I?
Am i scared, not as much as i should be
do i want it, yes

its long past checkout and ill go ahead and pay the price

Should i tell her

i want to tell her how i feel
of all the things bottled up inside me
waiting to burst like a cork on New Years eve
that i care
i want a chance to be the guy beside her
i know i would try my best but id fall short
becasue i am not perfect adn tahts what she deserves.
im a cliche 90s tv show,
shes the girl dancing in the moon light

i end in 30 mins
she lasts the night

oh how the thought of my hand cusping her hand is like the knife made of glass, delicate but as sharp as death wanted

i dont want to hold her back, shes been cut deep and ripped apart. i can try to help but only if she will let me, my only comfort would come in beating that guy's face in but thats never a solution
oh how one day i wish it could be

i wish, upon this night
for her