taste

Party at a rich dudes house ke$ha

the flutter of wings
the opeing of doors
the shitting of room 506 for the last time, for now
the first step taken, now we fall
back into ourself, contemplating what we jsut did, how the hell we got by
that first year down
back to old friends
maybe they changed, maybe they didnt
there still their and the suprises are bound to be bountifull
and old emotions will come to the surface, force maybe taken and the prodicle cheater may
cont his old ways adn never get caught.
i miss her

back to the point
the only thing i tasted was my flavor lsot gum and a slushie flaveored hawain punch

Change

I want to change my life.
Simple as that.
it shall be done
No
No more
no more wow
the clocks already ticking
last card bought
jsut enough to get me through the summer adn then a fast break to pc and fc
then right before school commences for round sophmore
the deed shall be done
no more wow
school
working out
work
running
reading
writing
theater
maybe not in that order but hey, you get the picture
or i hope you do
point is
theres no wow on that list
unless you count how ripped ill get
oh wow

Truth, parents beware

the fact of the matter is that we as kids, regardless where we live (parents house, or else where) have mind of our own. Though not all our choices are sound, help us out. I dont want society damper on my life so fucking early, and it will not consume me. Ill leve by its rules but my own wants will come into play. Ill work but i will try desperatly to have a job in a theater. I know some kids who juggle 2 jobs, i thought that might work for me but it wont, im a very creative and expressive person adn i cant do that with 2 jobs and one in a theater, ironic as that is.
Parents, yes we make stupid choices sometimes but soem decsions we think about for over a week adn we still cant bring it to words, so plz dont say we dont know what we are doing, we spent a weeking pondering it, we know full well what we plan to do. All i ask, all we all ask for is some encourgment, it goes along ways sometiem, you ahve no idea. i try to do the right thing all the tiem but when im confronted with a truth such as this it breaks me donw and it becomes known on my fact even that something is firing in my brain.

is it

is it all in my head aobut this girl?
will she ever really knwo me agian?
have i been my own demise?

?where

do i stand like a statue
or
run like the wind into the warm embrace of no one
jsut
the future.
shall i ride the carisel
or
the the unocorn, mythical
so both end up no where
i walk
like a man should,
no map
no compass
notihng, cept my eyes
to guide me into teh world
wandering, trying to figure it out.
never knwoing
stumbling, yelling
breaking down
running till he cant follow you, till you lose him
and urself in the openess
false pretenses filled wiht vast missed chances
never knwoing
cants take it back
letting hims truly ahve you
heart
body
mind and
soul
its the reapers to dowith as he pleases.
limeted teim, already running out
never enough
missed chances
youll never get back
make em right eh first tiem woudl be a god
to mess up is to inherit human traits
lasting legacy or make a smile
give the chance to the future or take it away like
the human virus, greed.
watch out wars a coming
pestilence marching behind it
famine gnashing on the bones
and death bring up the reasr reaping teh reward of his brothers.
riding off into the future wiht rings, binding him
on the horses they go
4
brothers.
the tru unsoppalbe force
but we let them live in our world
we made them, we can destroy them
lol lol lol lol
lol rofl
doubtful.
they have already been deeply impanted into political scandals, into the wealthy, that dont knwo how to look down.
and us, already looking up, seeing no heling hand, letting them guide us like sheep to the slaughter. break teh fence, we are coming out.

alone vs someone

ont eh hole that is society msot women and soem guys can not stand to be alone.
am i not part of that bc im the .oooooooo1 percent that doens tneed someone their all the time, i never have. have i grown so distant from society that it doent bug me, its strange when i talk to teh women, nay, girls they say they are all mature but they cant stand to be alone. they lie caged inside their boyfriend arms, wanting out but not wanting to be alone and they can jear that i dont ahve anyoen but i can do whatever bc i dotn ahve a controling other yelling at me. they fear them so they hide and text me from the safety of the bathroom, what the hell, well their goes there women rights down the drain, all the women fought for notihng i guess, lol. i find it amusing that they cant stadn to them, but hell its not my life so ill live mine sole adn wanting but at elast i can text anyoen, if i ahd anyoen to text.

Twist of reality,

Im to preface the writing wiht, into the morning, temorary insanity, check yes, juliet, and skyway avenue

temp insan
is it real or is it fantasy?
i ahve no clue but the days of late have been blessed with a young women that i ahve the pleasuer to know for a few years and i am very confused wiht life at the moment, the craziest thought are taking aplce and i dont knwo what way is up. i wish i had my crew here to help me make heads and tails of this, i am going to go insane and burst at the seems becaue if this is real and not jsut in my ehad i will say fml and fall apart.

is it me or do i jsut fall for the women who cant catch me bc their arms are already around someone else????
i mean what the hell, is this cupid tell me i fucked every so they have forgotten me and now i must movbe on, well i say kindy flip mr lovemaker the finger and go for the women i care aobut most.
i plan on taking a trip back to the location where i truly grew up, and when i envision who im goign to hang with its a small number of people, and her. her, the girl that i havent stop thinking aobut since saturday, maybe is all maek beleive or................
hell i dont knwo. i cant make the right choice when i t comes down the love, the needs vs the want are mixed when i know what tehy are so now they are clear as the bell.
adn as usualy the bell rang late as usually wiht my heart stapled on the side, now its cracked liek the liberty bell.
being alone i can handle on select days, but whne im confronted wiht a riddle of life, i cant bc i need the bros to help me, pull me up and slap me then do something stupid wiht and it all becomes clear and i ahve all teh courage in the world, but wiht out them im jsut a superman wiht kyprtnite thats never leaves my side, im always weak, never the full man that i should be.
all bc im thinking aobut you and you dont even know that im talking aobut you, i bet you would never agina think that i like u like that, bc ur happy wiht him,
agian , not agian.
this sucks.
nwo its bad bc im having a conversation wiht me
myself and
i.
and no one is winning.

Missing

The choices that lay with me every night are one that I made and now must live with, I’m still working on making my bed with them but I’m getting there. It’s a battle that’s going uphill as the rules of society close in and as I feel one way and my life dictates another. It’s a battle that I am going to win bc its my life and I can live with one semi unhappy moment but not 2, I thought it was what I wanted but I miss my passion far too much. I need theater in my life or ill go over the deep end and there’s no comfy ending at the bottom.
How to save a life
I’m in no condition to save another life but I am looked to, to do such actions. For those who want me consider thus for a moment, do u need me or are you to retarded that you can’t do it yourself? Can you fix it yourself or do you need my magic touch, now if u need me then I am completely open to aid you. But I can guarantee you that I will hurt, for the broken glass of truth has many sharp edges and it cuts over and thus again. I would love to help people but how can I help others when I can’t help myself, I dish out advice like a bread line and yet I can’t break it myself?

Ps as this maybe a bit blunt, it is the truth and it is what I speak, pros and cons.

Hate

Now im no relgious nut, and i preceive no true power to tell you how to live your life but what i am is real. i am a man, hella flawed but real and i have a voice and a fist, both in which i will use today.
there are genuine fml moments then there are i ahte my life moments, only one of which can be described as real and other fake.
most fml's are those things we as a people do throughpout the day that are stupid and or funny. they are to be expressed then forgotten
but to say you hate your life, now that just pisses me off.
maybe this is jsut me but i like to ahve fun and try to lvie, which is debatable as im going through something at the moment but thats a different story. you hate it so much, do something, get off your lazy ass and change it. dont stand idly and being a nonsubject of america, go fucking celebrate and live, know what it feels liek to be alive adn young. dont ley petentions hold you back, its a no bars world and you will need to fight it u want to get high on the totem. now stop being fucking retared and look around your world and look beyond, cant see get fuckign glasses, there is more out there, more people actually suffering now dont you feel liek shit now go back to studinying because your preparing for a cynical future and your not preparing for your dream job becaue tis a waste of tiem so jsut sit in a cubicle till you die then well burry you in it, so

peace, ahve fun.
live life, dont let it rule you
and
remember to take your own advice, now move the hell on.

Dreams that explore a smaller mind

As the wind blows in the back door, through the screen it whips the feeling of relaxation, and as the young Rocky sleeps his little curly tail not only unravels but beging to wag at a fairly fast pace for a dog in a sleepy state. My only guess is he is dreaming of laying on a soft silk couch, eating all his favorite food, which is about everything, and never getting sick and being rubbed all over. Now thats the life he wants, and the life he gets isnt too far from that. but none the less my doggie sleeps soundly, crushing the pillows on the couch and wags his cute tail dreaming of cows and napping in the sun while he is napping and dreaming in the sun.

?

what is it, the attempt that counts or is that not even worth it as 2 people die on that August sunset? can such actions from previus men of the same clone be forgiven by the women who stands amongst the hills overlooking the future.
can one day will i be by her side, is it possible that ill see her shingin face again.
just the exchange of words from her lips to mine ears would be able to lift this demon from the fires
will the angel of jane be able to save me from a certain fate before the walls ahve fallen around us and all thats left is jsut holding tighlty?

the story below is an example, is it jsut to try knowing that deat is right there, unavoidable.
fore the man that tried to save, adn succeded, in saveing the women, was without teh ability to swim, so he sank.

sin or truth

The man wishes to save the drowning women.
The man is pushing himself to save the women; he faces realities that hit him harder than the waves,
“Fuck it”
The man cries out and he’s slowly pulled under.