i rarely ever sit down and write directly into a blog, i type it in word then copy.paste it, but ill cut out that process.
i havent heard the voice of heaven for nearly a week adn i want to know why, is she busy, too tired, is she with him, is she doen wiht me, does she want me out of her life, i dont know.
i wish she tell me
Saturday, February 27, 2010
flakes of grey
Let the ash fall from the sky,
Let it streak your face with gray smudges,
Let the ash fall from dark clouds,
Let the world know your terror,
Let loose your voice upon the world.
Let the ash fall from the heavens
Let the ash serve as a warning to humans,
Let it serve as a warning to us, to know that change is coming,
That what is going to occur will rock the earth for years, the angles and
Demons have eyed each other.
For the last time
Top vs. bottom, with the sake of humanity stuck in between, but when all this is just a jest,
When the dust settles, angles will have fallen and demons lay slain, but go and his sons
Will be waiting,
Still.
Lucifer will keep the secrets of hell for,
Another day.
Both moving mere pawns first, one at a time, nothing drastic,
And on time will go,
And the war pushes on,
Waging and ravishing,
Their only battlefield.
But we keep on, advancing, every piece of technology, we keep believing,
We keep praying,
We keep bowing,
We keep fearing,
We stay faithful,
Till the day
Let it streak your face with gray smudges,
Let the ash fall from dark clouds,
Let the world know your terror,
Let loose your voice upon the world.
Let the ash fall from the heavens
Let the ash serve as a warning to humans,
Let it serve as a warning to us, to know that change is coming,
That what is going to occur will rock the earth for years, the angles and
Demons have eyed each other.
For the last time
Top vs. bottom, with the sake of humanity stuck in between, but when all this is just a jest,
When the dust settles, angles will have fallen and demons lay slain, but go and his sons
Will be waiting,
Still.
Lucifer will keep the secrets of hell for,
Another day.
Both moving mere pawns first, one at a time, nothing drastic,
And on time will go,
And the war pushes on,
Waging and ravishing,
Their only battlefield.
But we keep on, advancing, every piece of technology, we keep believing,
We keep praying,
We keep bowing,
We keep fearing,
We stay faithful,
Till the day
You, its always you
And just like that her voice gone like the smoke in the wind.
Never to be heard from again, temptation, lust and beauty controlling me into hells endeavors.
The thought of you still plaguing my mind like the England rats, festering.
What I want, out of reach, or just another mirage but I’m not in a desert, maybe another trick of the mind and body, but what’s the secret?
Nobody knows but I want to know, I want to know.
Why do you pop into my life then vanish like a temptress, why?
Why me dear, what did I do, why choose me? Why leave me stranded?
Never mind, your gone and I’m talking to a wall.
Committed four months later because I thought you were back, now cant you stay, so I can get out of this jacked? Its too tight and not my style.
Tell the world, so I can walk free with you or without you, your choice, its always up to you because I’m at your disposal.
Never to be heard from again, temptation, lust and beauty controlling me into hells endeavors.
The thought of you still plaguing my mind like the England rats, festering.
What I want, out of reach, or just another mirage but I’m not in a desert, maybe another trick of the mind and body, but what’s the secret?
Nobody knows but I want to know, I want to know.
Why do you pop into my life then vanish like a temptress, why?
Why me dear, what did I do, why choose me? Why leave me stranded?
Never mind, your gone and I’m talking to a wall.
Committed four months later because I thought you were back, now cant you stay, so I can get out of this jacked? Its too tight and not my style.
Tell the world, so I can walk free with you or without you, your choice, its always up to you because I’m at your disposal.
Her, simply complicated
Screams echoing off the walls while a man lay twisted in love and thought.
That ol time pimp plays piano and sings of love and lady luck, whose in disguise as lady lust blowing on some other guys dice, making the once dashing look like a fool.
Just 2 of us, only counting on ya, always there to help me and slap me into focus, and our decisions are based on past mistakes but talking it out while we are gambling away always helps and we feel better, better than any pill, or drug that could take us higher, but we shall stay grounded as we are running from Jason, penny, teeth, the bogeys mans first kiss, the taste of steel to flesh, Freddy, the 4 horsemen and Mr. warden.
But the adventures are far from over, now the world is an open world playground and we are just commencing. You’re their bro, she’s weaving like a spider, in and out of my reality, and she tells me Im the one for her and I cant help but hear her say that particular line to a different fellow in the room. So I don’t know if I should be happy in the fast that she loves me, but im weary when she lies with him, not texting me back.
For I believe, I the once love have been deemed fool after I let the truth spill forward like the waters of the past for once they have been churned up the waters are hard to clear.
For we don’t know what path to walk but tis life that we take one and that one of us is happy and the other not. But we will be there to help, slap the face, pull the one down back up then go out and hunt
That ol time pimp plays piano and sings of love and lady luck, whose in disguise as lady lust blowing on some other guys dice, making the once dashing look like a fool.
Just 2 of us, only counting on ya, always there to help me and slap me into focus, and our decisions are based on past mistakes but talking it out while we are gambling away always helps and we feel better, better than any pill, or drug that could take us higher, but we shall stay grounded as we are running from Jason, penny, teeth, the bogeys mans first kiss, the taste of steel to flesh, Freddy, the 4 horsemen and Mr. warden.
But the adventures are far from over, now the world is an open world playground and we are just commencing. You’re their bro, she’s weaving like a spider, in and out of my reality, and she tells me Im the one for her and I cant help but hear her say that particular line to a different fellow in the room. So I don’t know if I should be happy in the fast that she loves me, but im weary when she lies with him, not texting me back.
For I believe, I the once love have been deemed fool after I let the truth spill forward like the waters of the past for once they have been churned up the waters are hard to clear.
For we don’t know what path to walk but tis life that we take one and that one of us is happy and the other not. But we will be there to help, slap the face, pull the one down back up then go out and hunt
Her choice
I have written about how she’s not speaking to me for whatever reason, shoe doesn’t return my texts and I dare not call, for I care too much and I want to know that she’ll be in my life for years to come, always telling me what to do and me wiping away her tears.
Idk where we stand, but I want to because I’m that type of guy, I think all the time and with no word from you, the possibilities are dead ends but I want to see a road behind that block.
If I have to ill burn it all down and walk across the ash to the other side even if I have that gut wrenching feeling that I wont like what ill find on the other side of that burning ash.
If I have to ill climb over it for a better view bc I need to know. Not knowing is worse than knowing whether or not you like it but that’s me, not knowing so we will see how it is with us, hopefully.
Being a writer has its skills,
Bc if I don’t like the ending ill fight for what I can’t till I’m happy with you then ill rewrite the ending of me and her. Im just a fighter with a pen at my disposal but ill use it to get the job done.
A rose by any other name, shall still smell just as sweet, and a debater who beats another,
Smiles.
Idk where we stand, but I want to because I’m that type of guy, I think all the time and with no word from you, the possibilities are dead ends but I want to see a road behind that block.
If I have to ill burn it all down and walk across the ash to the other side even if I have that gut wrenching feeling that I wont like what ill find on the other side of that burning ash.
If I have to ill climb over it for a better view bc I need to know. Not knowing is worse than knowing whether or not you like it but that’s me, not knowing so we will see how it is with us, hopefully.
Being a writer has its skills,
Bc if I don’t like the ending ill fight for what I can’t till I’m happy with you then ill rewrite the ending of me and her. Im just a fighter with a pen at my disposal but ill use it to get the job done.
A rose by any other name, shall still smell just as sweet, and a debater who beats another,
Smiles.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
other blogs
i just spent a little bit explorign this whole big world of blogspot and found some that interested me and or i could help and relate too. it was actually fun becasue you always think that your the only one feeling this way and that no one could possibly understand you but withing a different realm, there in lies others that have felt the pain, the sting life. From joy, love, friendships, to rejection, loss and that gaping hole inside you, its jsut something that most people go through at one point or another and as for me this is how i deal with it. i write it out, maybe not spelled correctly or wiht teh right punjaction but you get the genereal idea. writing is how i express what is on the inside, doing this helps so much then as a back up plan so i dont burst, ranting to a friend helps also, but hey maybe thats just me.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
dash through history, round one
This is a very crazy combo of things, love, rapping and history all rolled into one. so...enjoy
I don’t want to go another 9 hrs without seeing you, sleep is for the weak and ill be the strong willed.
I don’t need to dream of you any more, your right next to me
Wait, freeze frame, lets start from the beginning, rewind.
My whole life I’ve been fronting this act of confidence and perfection. But its all a fraud like IBM.
Making statements like direct deposits, there never really there. I’ve been chilling in the bog with the crocs and snakes but that don’t prevent me from snogging like snoop doggy dawg.
My whole life has been lived without you, like humans and their greed. I want you included with me like that insurance that covers you and me, the house and the benze in the garage. Because we both fit together like that jigsaw puzzle of our dreams together.
I don’t know how I got along without you when without you I was trippin and not realizing it, all those times I fell I thought it was a joke being pulled on me but in reality it was you pushing and pulling me to figure out it was you.
I should have realized that when my nose itched, that it was you thinking bout me not some allegory of how it was an allergy.
Lies, lies, darkness into light
Blinding at first but once I got the taste I couldn’t have enough, I wanted more, I wanted it all and it all was you.
For I lit up on the world’s stage and you were the only one I saw, im just a back stage techie, running round half shirtless. Sweating and trying to get from point A and light it up. Commanding minions, being the superior yet still lean and not mean but rather at ease, so soldier, chill at rest, this aint the world, its theater!
You’ll get yelled at more, less reason and even if it’s a comedy you’ll get more drama from those actors, pretending to be someone thing then another and finally forgetting who you are, lockes slate for you is so jumbled that you can’t tell who you are, so you go on lost like a pup, until your picked up by a stranger who oohs over you then abandons you since the parents said no bro.
Lost and found wont take ya so let the world mold you until you cant take it no more, throw downs in the pit.
Toughing you up while tearing you down, and forcing you to stand at attention only to be kicked at by the monarch, so kick back and kick the king out, take the princess and slice the wedding cake like the atomic bomb with the same result darling.
I don’t want to go another 9 hrs without seeing you, sleep is for the weak and ill be the strong willed.
I don’t need to dream of you any more, your right next to me
Wait, freeze frame, lets start from the beginning, rewind.
My whole life I’ve been fronting this act of confidence and perfection. But its all a fraud like IBM.
Making statements like direct deposits, there never really there. I’ve been chilling in the bog with the crocs and snakes but that don’t prevent me from snogging like snoop doggy dawg.
My whole life has been lived without you, like humans and their greed. I want you included with me like that insurance that covers you and me, the house and the benze in the garage. Because we both fit together like that jigsaw puzzle of our dreams together.
I don’t know how I got along without you when without you I was trippin and not realizing it, all those times I fell I thought it was a joke being pulled on me but in reality it was you pushing and pulling me to figure out it was you.
I should have realized that when my nose itched, that it was you thinking bout me not some allegory of how it was an allergy.
Lies, lies, darkness into light
Blinding at first but once I got the taste I couldn’t have enough, I wanted more, I wanted it all and it all was you.
For I lit up on the world’s stage and you were the only one I saw, im just a back stage techie, running round half shirtless. Sweating and trying to get from point A and light it up. Commanding minions, being the superior yet still lean and not mean but rather at ease, so soldier, chill at rest, this aint the world, its theater!
You’ll get yelled at more, less reason and even if it’s a comedy you’ll get more drama from those actors, pretending to be someone thing then another and finally forgetting who you are, lockes slate for you is so jumbled that you can’t tell who you are, so you go on lost like a pup, until your picked up by a stranger who oohs over you then abandons you since the parents said no bro.
Lost and found wont take ya so let the world mold you until you cant take it no more, throw downs in the pit.
Toughing you up while tearing you down, and forcing you to stand at attention only to be kicked at by the monarch, so kick back and kick the king out, take the princess and slice the wedding cake like the atomic bomb with the same result darling.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
the glass that cried
Crying glass see no lies
It sees you when you wake up with no makeup and bed head, and it knows some days are better than others
When your kissing your man good bye
And when you kiss him hello
It reflects the utter truth, off many objects.
When he kisses your neck softly as you read pride and prejudice
The glass cries tears steadily with no end in sight
When you kiss him while he pays the bills
The glass cries because you kiss him good night
The glass knows the truth,
You can’t lie to yourself forever. All the practicing in the world wont cover the truth up
The glass sees through the steam
The glass cries because you get 2 goodbye kisses and he gets one
The glass sees the truth as tears
Smears the glass,
Not the truth.
It sees you when you wake up with no makeup and bed head, and it knows some days are better than others
When your kissing your man good bye
And when you kiss him hello
It reflects the utter truth, off many objects.
When he kisses your neck softly as you read pride and prejudice
The glass cries tears steadily with no end in sight
When you kiss him while he pays the bills
The glass cries because you kiss him good night
The glass knows the truth,
You can’t lie to yourself forever. All the practicing in the world wont cover the truth up
The glass sees through the steam
The glass cries because you get 2 goodbye kisses and he gets one
The glass sees the truth as tears
Smears the glass,
Not the truth.
eastern winds
Palm trees bend to 45 degree angles
Torrey pines branches sway there branches in the wind to the music of a approaching storm
Streaks of light play connect the dots in the sky
When they miss, a boom echoes the valley.
Mini Niles run through the land
Keeping peasants trapped inside
The hand of darkness stretches forth, blocking the sunlight
Pots and pans clash, leftovers served,
Liquid caffeine is brewed
I sugar cube, 2 spoons of creamer
Movie turned on, blanket pulled up for warmth for 2
Rain slaps the ground harder and faster, little drops become mini blobs
Hands distracting, temperature rising.
Movies over, storm setting in.
Intertwined lovers listen to the sound of water
Torrey pines branches sway there branches in the wind to the music of a approaching storm
Streaks of light play connect the dots in the sky
When they miss, a boom echoes the valley.
Mini Niles run through the land
Keeping peasants trapped inside
The hand of darkness stretches forth, blocking the sunlight
Pots and pans clash, leftovers served,
Liquid caffeine is brewed
I sugar cube, 2 spoons of creamer
Movie turned on, blanket pulled up for warmth for 2
Rain slaps the ground harder and faster, little drops become mini blobs
Hands distracting, temperature rising.
Movies over, storm setting in.
Intertwined lovers listen to the sound of water
Rain from the western shores
And the rain felt like
A chant
Rhythmic and in time
Downbeat in a melancholy time
One where choices mattered
And business was cemented in time
Where the trees bowed to the stronger force
Where 2 bodies danced in the rain
Letting the rain splash against her soft skin
And his hands round her waist
Dancing to the rain
Jumping in puddles
Running for cover under that old oak tree
Bodies pressed together for warmth, laughing for no clear reason, smiling, turn to heart sought stares
Lovers separated by miles
Together at last
Their lips meet for the first time
Their like a statue in the perfect form
Their hearts dance, his hand brushes her hair behind her ear,
Smiles flash
Running for shelter, huddled for warmth
A chant
Rhythmic and in time
Downbeat in a melancholy time
One where choices mattered
And business was cemented in time
Where the trees bowed to the stronger force
Where 2 bodies danced in the rain
Letting the rain splash against her soft skin
And his hands round her waist
Dancing to the rain
Jumping in puddles
Running for cover under that old oak tree
Bodies pressed together for warmth, laughing for no clear reason, smiling, turn to heart sought stares
Lovers separated by miles
Together at last
Their lips meet for the first time
Their like a statue in the perfect form
Their hearts dance, his hand brushes her hair behind her ear,
Smiles flash
Running for shelter, huddled for warmth
Monday, February 8, 2010
I see murderers, everywhere
How many hopeless romantics are scandalous murderers, or perhaps serial killers and all these seedy crimes have gone unsolved? All of them cold cases with more cases just like em being opened up faster that a jury could even convict, faster than changes even brought up not one word or Miranda rights have been uttered before 3 more have occurred.
How many innocent beautiful flowers have grown from the ground at the gardeners feet only to be plucked and torn apart like the bag of mulch that keeps the roots warm.
Loves me, loves me nots
How many more love and loves not petals will litter the ground beneath park benches and swings?
How many more 8-balls will be shaken, not stirred, from softly to vigorously for an answer?
How many more terra cards will be lain only to be flipped and to reveal……..
When the road ends and becomes a fork with a canyon between you and your path, what it comes down to is you and a leap of faith. Hoping that your feelings are true and no one can stray you from what you know to be true, so make that leap and I hope you land on solid ground, and on 2 feet.
Now we are at the climax of this poetic end, a writer will know when he is in love. We need no tarot cards, leaps of faith, 8-balls or flowers.
We use flowers to surprise the girl that we are addicted too.
We use the 8-ball to see if we should enter that writing contest or if we should eat out tonight.
We use the tarot cards to check when we are going to die and to check if we are going to be rich.
A writer not in love troubles with contracting the words to the paper. He cant even describe how the rain is falling on this ol tin roof like hammers.
A writer wrapped up in her beauty can let the words flow like a fire on the prairie. Mesmerized by her loveliness, entranced by how her body can sway to the music wanting to dance with her and have their bodies become one, moving to the dj’s rhythm.
Just desiring to get lost in her eyes and trapped in her luscious red lips.
How many innocent beautiful flowers have grown from the ground at the gardeners feet only to be plucked and torn apart like the bag of mulch that keeps the roots warm.
Loves me, loves me nots
How many more love and loves not petals will litter the ground beneath park benches and swings?
How many more 8-balls will be shaken, not stirred, from softly to vigorously for an answer?
How many more terra cards will be lain only to be flipped and to reveal……..
When the road ends and becomes a fork with a canyon between you and your path, what it comes down to is you and a leap of faith. Hoping that your feelings are true and no one can stray you from what you know to be true, so make that leap and I hope you land on solid ground, and on 2 feet.
Now we are at the climax of this poetic end, a writer will know when he is in love. We need no tarot cards, leaps of faith, 8-balls or flowers.
We use flowers to surprise the girl that we are addicted too.
We use the 8-ball to see if we should enter that writing contest or if we should eat out tonight.
We use the tarot cards to check when we are going to die and to check if we are going to be rich.
A writer not in love troubles with contracting the words to the paper. He cant even describe how the rain is falling on this ol tin roof like hammers.
A writer wrapped up in her beauty can let the words flow like a fire on the prairie. Mesmerized by her loveliness, entranced by how her body can sway to the music wanting to dance with her and have their bodies become one, moving to the dj’s rhythm.
Just desiring to get lost in her eyes and trapped in her luscious red lips.
the lady in blue
Board shorts of blue
Walking among the pebbles and
Matching top
Rocks that fell to the elements.
Both blue.
She trods back and forth
Is that her color?
Swaying her hips to the
Is it just what she felt?
Tune of seduction
Is she ok?
Knowing she’s a thief
Is she a slave?
The boys don’t mind
A slave to represent that which she walks close too
Nobody does
Or is it that THE outfit
Footprint there then gone
The attraction one
Because she’s a drop from
Lesbians spy her viscous
Whench she came
A widowed lady of 1809.
Walking among the pebbles and
Matching top
Rocks that fell to the elements.
Both blue.
She trods back and forth
Is that her color?
Swaying her hips to the
Is it just what she felt?
Tune of seduction
Is she ok?
Knowing she’s a thief
Is she a slave?
The boys don’t mind
A slave to represent that which she walks close too
Nobody does
Or is it that THE outfit
Footprint there then gone
The attraction one
Because she’s a drop from
Lesbians spy her viscous
Whench she came
A widowed lady of 1809.
the relapse
Wasn’t a week ago…
The past weeks footprints drowned in the rising emotion of the water.
Today its greeting is rather high and distant. It’s a bit grouchy and upset.
Pushing most of the population away, keeping em at bay. Its reason for its being upset:
Well to put the answer in a short, rather simplified manner, keeping it low tech for all generations, past, present, and future to understand, maintaining the ease and generosity, I don’t know.
I’m not a man with the mechanics of one of the biggest things in the world memorized.
The only adventurers going yonder are well equipped with the gear. The suits, the rope, and the board. They leave foot prints of humanoids unknown before their visits are wiped clean, as if they never existed. It’s a great day to taste her and many attempts are made to ride the beast but never to tame. Taming is prohibited and only the young fools believe such hierarchy is thus possible.
The past weeks footprints drowned in the rising emotion of the water.
Today its greeting is rather high and distant. It’s a bit grouchy and upset.
Pushing most of the population away, keeping em at bay. Its reason for its being upset:
Well to put the answer in a short, rather simplified manner, keeping it low tech for all generations, past, present, and future to understand, maintaining the ease and generosity, I don’t know.
I’m not a man with the mechanics of one of the biggest things in the world memorized.
The only adventurers going yonder are well equipped with the gear. The suits, the rope, and the board. They leave foot prints of humanoids unknown before their visits are wiped clean, as if they never existed. It’s a great day to taste her and many attempts are made to ride the beast but never to tame. Taming is prohibited and only the young fools believe such hierarchy is thus possible.
The oc round one
Thunderous roars echoing from a vast blue yonder.
It greets people as they come and it sends them on their way.
The amount of emotion in the greeting varies with its mood. Sometimes its calm and collective, other days it’s choppy and disproportionate and even some rare occasions its like a pup, yapping bout your shins.
But still regardless, people flock like the gulls to adore rest or tame this wild and unpredictable force of nature.
It can cleanse battle scars to battle torn bodies,
It can bury men and be the knock at Davey Jones door; it can give the widowed women false hope and turn em into a witness and spirits.
It can beat men down as they attempt to conquer it or give them a watery
Reward and
Their blue golden ticket.
12/25/09
It greets people as they come and it sends them on their way.
The amount of emotion in the greeting varies with its mood. Sometimes its calm and collective, other days it’s choppy and disproportionate and even some rare occasions its like a pup, yapping bout your shins.
But still regardless, people flock like the gulls to adore rest or tame this wild and unpredictable force of nature.
It can cleanse battle scars to battle torn bodies,
It can bury men and be the knock at Davey Jones door; it can give the widowed women false hope and turn em into a witness and spirits.
It can beat men down as they attempt to conquer it or give them a watery
Reward and
Their blue golden ticket.
12/25/09
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