and through the darkness comes a hand a hand to pull my up into the light, not death but life.

the world kept spinning and my slowed and it was like running through water. my world was suspended and wasn't on the same rotational movements. i now know that the words were not lies but they were weighted. she thinks she knows me but she says the words yet can comprehend the affect they have on me and style of living. im her back up and its now her futuristic words lie on the pavement as i try and move forward and fashion a life for me in this red hole. Illusions can be great bc with the lying eyes i cant go on as easy when i don't yet feel as if this is home, yet. something needs to be altered so i can feel comfortable and have a reason to get out of bed in the morning. Every move i try to make in the positive direction i get shoved back to the negative side and its that much easier to go to the dark side. i have to stand up and be heard, im far too chill.